Movie Trailer Park: Solo

We review the Solo trailer and offer some bold predictions for the film.

Good morning ladies and gentlemen! It is my pleasure to introduce to you a new segment that you can only find here at the Life of Guy called Movie Trailer Park (MTP) where we offer trashy reviews of good films.  We’ll be taking a deep look into upcoming movie trailers and give you our two cents with our first impressions, bold predictions, and more.  In our inaugural MTP post, we’d like to shine some light on an upcoming film set to release on Memorial Day weekend, Solo: A Star Wars Story.

Now this isn’t the trailer that just aired during the Super Bowl this past Sunday, but I feel this trailer shows a little more of what the hard-core Star Wars addicts want.  Most fans are already upset that this movie is being made since they feel Disney is whoring out the Star Wars brand but in my opinion, I can’t wait to see this movie.  Not all of us Star Wars fans are virgins so for the small percentage of us that has sex regularly, it will be nice to have a movie that explains how Han Solo become the outlaw and scoundrel he is in the original trilogy, without having to pick up a comic book at a convention or read a Star Wars novel alone in Mommy’s basement.

It’s nice to see some signs in the beginning of the film that Han had some involvement in the Empire and how he seemingly ditched that to do hood rat shit with Chewie and the boys.  This explains his bad yet good boy reputation and how he initially got into doing illegal smuggles with Woody Harrelson’s hair piece.  It’s also great seeing clips of the Millennium Falcon not looking like a halfway house.  It’s officially confirmed from this trailer that Han Solo wasn’t living off food credits during A New Hope. Donald Glover as Lando Calrissian is a fucking home run and a half and there’s no doubt in my mind that he’ll crush that roll.  I also see that they casted Emilia Clarke in the film which is good news for any dude with a pulse seeing as she could be featured as a Bae Of The Day literally everyday without anyone losing interest.

Bold Predictions

Han Solo nails Emilia Clarke’s character.

Calm down, calm down. They’re not going to show anything over PG-5 in this movie but you’ll definitely be able to tell from their body language that the deed was done.  The force is giving me some Dirty Dancing vibes around minute 80 of the movie.

You still can’t understand WTF Chewbacca is saying.

Deep down inside, I would love to see that Chewbacca graduated with his Doctorates in English from Oxford only to have his tongue cut out in a deal gone bad, but the prequels already fucked another story line up by including him in Revenge of the Sith.  Now that I’m thinking about it, Chewie getting his tongue cut out in a bad deal would 100% explain how he sounds. Force damn you George Lucas!

Jabba the Hutt makes an appearance, and looks stunning!

Look, I already know Jabba was a…plus size Hutt in Episode 1 but I’m going to go out on a worm tail on this one and say that he’s actually in pretty good shape.  These are his peak years between the prequels and the original trilogy so I’d like to think that he’s on the Outer Rim diet and has stopped eating gluten foods altogether.  Hey, I told you these predictions would be bold, didn’t I?

Enjoy pirating the film 2 weeks after its released!

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